I held you, mottled pink and silicon-fat arms. I gazed at you, with amazement and fright. I fed you, in the dark hours when the world had stopped except for us. I rocked you, when nothing else helped.
I changed you, picked up after you, I helped you to walk. I weaned you, I tickled you, [...]
Entries Tagged as 'Not Enough Children'
Where does my time go?
March 4th, 2010 · 13 Comments · Not Enough Children, Parenting
Tags: Not Enough Children·Parenting
’til my heart hurts
October 12th, 2009 · 7 Comments · Not Enough Children
I love my children ’til my heart hurts. There is no other way to say it. I watch my first born, my beautiful sweet seven year old, struggle with so much at the moment and I feel so unable to help him. Even if I knew what was wrong, I don’t know if I can [...]
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Monday
September 6th, 2006 · Comments Off · Not Enough Children
Walking down the hill I feel his small hand tighten around mine. He looks at me with unshed tears in his eyes, his sombre face betraying his nervousness. ‘I’m really excited,’ he says looking down the long road. There is silence as we walk. I resist the urge to issue helpful [...]
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Family life
August 1st, 2006 · No Comments · Not Enough Children, Post-Partum Depression
With a newborn in the house and two pre-schoolers thrown in on top, time is at a premium. Add in school holidays and ‘me’ time becomes almost non-existent. I have been blogging at one site or another for nearly two years now. My tagline for most of that time should have been “WATCH ME FALL [...]
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Hot summer days
July 25th, 2006 · No Comments · Not Enough Children, Parenting
The flies land randomly, lazily, on the dishes by the sink. The blinds shudder at the threat of a slight breeze. Outside, the stains on the drying laundry disappear under the fierce stare of the sun.
The baby feeds sleepily. The two older children sleep sweatily in their beds, worn out by the [...]
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Out here
July 13th, 2006 · No Comments · Not Enough Children, Playtime
I’m walking through the fields, ripe with wheat, each step feeling a little lighter as I leave the long day behind. The baby, his skin enraged by eczema, sleeps his exhausted sleep so I sneak out, the golden fields beckoning me. The dogs race ahead of me, behind me, startling birds and rabbits. [...]
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Boys, boys, boys
June 30th, 2006 · No Comments · Not Enough Children
On Sunday my husband and the boys made popcorn and lined up in a row on the sofa to watch the England v Ecuador world cup match. I even made Matthew hold the baby, reminding him that he shouldn’t absent-mindedly feed the newly-weaning baby popcorn – the beer would be okay, but the popcorn might [...]
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Need
March 24th, 2006 · No Comments · Not Enough Children
My baby is a ‘needy’ baby (what baby isn’t?). But standing in the kitchen this morning, looking out at the beginnings of spring sunshine, I was suffused with such an overwhelming feeling of love for this little boy. He may be ‘needy’ but the truth is I need him as much as he [...]
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Now you are three and a half
August 16th, 2005 · Comments Off · Not Enough Children
Dear Harry
Harry, my first born. There is so much I want to say about you. You are the most loving, beautiful child and every day you surprise me with your capacity for love and cheekiness. You have the most beautiful smile and you make my heart soar every time you smile your soft smile.
Before you [...]
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Happy Birthday, little fella
May 29th, 2005 · Comments Off · Not Enough Children
Dear William,
William, my baby. There is so much I want to say about you, my little fella. When your brother was born I couldn’t imagine loving another baby as much, but of course I did. You are almost 2 now and not a baby anymore. You love to fight with your big brother. You love [...]
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