My beloved dog, Defa, died six months ago today. I haven’t been in the field where I walked with her every day even once since she died. I watch the changing seasons, revelling in their beauty, and always with the thought of how Defa would have loved the farm fields as they changed.
Nature is right [...]
Entries Tagged as 'Dog Days'
A farm by season
August 20th, 2008 · 4 Comments · Country Life, Dog Days
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Even the house aches with emptiness
February 21st, 2008 · 1 Comment · All Gone Wrong, Dog Days
‘We can all have breakfast together now,’ I say brightly but my heart aches with emptiness.
Two nights ago I was awake from 2am sitting with my poorly dog.
Last night I was awake from 3am, grieving for her.
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‘Defa doesn’t seem quite herself this evening,’ I say to Matthew as he gets home on Monday. We both [...]
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Enjoying these days
November 22nd, 2007 · No Comments · All Gone Wrong, Dog Days
The dog is home and until last night was doing basically okay. Tuesday’s test confirmed pancreatitis and a shortenened life expectancy.
Today she is very sick again. If she is going to be repeatedly sick and/or in and out of the vet for stressful overnight stays we will have to consider her quality of life. If [...]
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As if the last year hasn’t been bad enough
November 15th, 2007 · No Comments · Dog Days
Almost a year ago to the day, my beloved dog Brin started showing clinical symptoms that, unbeknownst to us, would mean she only had a few weeks to live. Those of you who have been long term readers will know how terrible those few weeks were for me.
Today, my other beloved dog Defa is lying [...]
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Where nothing ever good happens
October 15th, 2007 · No Comments · Dog Days
I’m at the vet. Defa quivers almost uncontrollably because she knows, quite rightly, that nothing ever good happens here.
‘She’s lost quite a lot of weight, hasn’t she?’ the vet comments as the scales struggle to settle on the weight of the shaking dog.
‘Should I feed her more?’ I ask, knowing that she doesn’t look overly-thin [...]
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Guarded
March 14th, 2007 · Comments Off · Dog Days
This week we heard that our surviving dog, Defa, also has liver disease. Her prognosis is guarded: she could have as little as a year with us or she could live much longer, they can’t say until the worst happens.
I have spent a lot of time with her – perhaps too much time – in [...]
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This is not a dog blog
February 17th, 2007 · No Comments · Dog Days
I have been truly humbled by the number of emails and messages of support that I have received in the last few weeks. Thank you to all of you that took the time to contact me; your messages gave me so much comfort at a time when I have been really struggling. I can honestly [...]
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All over again
February 12th, 2007 · Comments Off · All Gone Wrong, Dog Days
Monday
‘Where’s Brax?’ the cleaner asks brightly when she arrives.
‘We buried her this morning,’ I reply glumly, tears pricking at my eyes.
Sunday
I clear away breakfast, watching Brax carefully. She and I have been up since three, seeking comfort in each other as she struggles to breathe. My parents are on their way home. I have already [...]
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Onwards but not upwards
February 9th, 2007 · Comments Off · All Gone Wrong, Dog Days, Failure To Thrive
One month ago today my dog died. Today I got a call from the vet telling me that our surviving dog is showing signs of having the same disease that Brin died from. On Tuesday I will be taking her to the same referral vet in Bristol that called me with the devastating news about [...]
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In which the grief is compounded
February 2nd, 2007 · Comments Off · All Gone Wrong, Dog Days
‘I know what you’re going through. Exactly what you’re going through,’ I say as we hug each other tight.
‘I can’t cope with losing her,’ he says.
‘Are you sure you have to put her down today? She seems so bright,’ I say through my tears.
‘I don’t know, I just don’t know.’ My father shakes his head.
‘Then [...]
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