So despite all my precautions, swine flu has hit the household, four days after William got his first of the two swine flu vaccinations. I wasn’t allowed more than three days of semi-relief that he was partially protected because that would clearly have lulled me into a false sense of security. And as any mother knows, we are MEANT TO BE WORRYING ALL THE TIME.

So his little body lies pale and limply pathetic on the sofa next to me as he sweats his way through a fever of 40 degrees – after Calpol/Tylenol – with full-on shakes, bloodshot eyes and vomiting. You know it’s bad when even the promise of all-day children’s television doesn’t help.

I despatched a helpful neighbour off to school with one son, another helpful neighbour off to preschool with another son and a third helpful neighbour off to the chemist to get William’s Tamiflu. Thank heaven for them all because four housebound children and no Tamiflu for the one with H1N1 and an underlying condition, well I don’t even want to go there, and it’s not for worry about what could happen to the one with the underlying condition. There was, at least for a little while, peace while the baby and the sick one slept but then all hell broke loose when William starting vomiting the Tamiflu, the preschooler returned looking decidedly peaky, the older boy returned feeling cross that he had had to go to school without his brother (woe is me) and I wondered if I needed to pack a hospital bag for a little emergency stay with the boy while trying to get something on the table that at least one of them would feel like eating and tend to medicines, tempers and cooling their fevers (sick ones) and averting fights and tantrums (not-sick ones). Always fun, and right now with added fun!

After a second night of no sleep, I now have the preschooler lying pale and limp on the sofa watching Waybuloo which, let’s be honest,  would make anyone feel a bit pale and limp and the older one possibly pulling a sickie after I was duped this morning by his attempt at vomiting, for now he seems just a little bit okay and William fainting every time he gets up (not sure if that’s the Tamiflu, the flu or the blood pressure tablets he is on doing their job just a little bit too well today). Now I’m just waiting for the baby to fall ill and then, the icing on the cake, MY TURN! Although I might secretly be looking forward to a few days in bed while someone else looks after everyone.  (I know, I know, I won’t be saying that when I’ve really got ‘flu, but a girl has got to have something to look forward to.)

Still, at least I can Peppa my flu-laden tweets with witty hashtags like #hamdemic, #snoutbreak and #epigdemic – thereby proving I’m both internets-cool and dealing with this in a very mature, mother-like way.

Photo: be_khe