A very Happy Christmas to all my readers. And this is for my lovely friend Sophie who has gone into labor this morning with her fourth boy, ten days early. It was so what she was not hoping for, but Christmas presents don’t come much better than a tiny Christmas baby! (Not broody, honestly.)

Although I’m hoping she won’t read about the ’screaming patients’ until it’s all over.

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Twas the night before Christmas
and up on OB
A nurse yelled “Thick mec, I need a delee!”

IV’s with Pitocin
Were all hung with care
In hopes they’ll deliver
And stop pulling their hair

The patients were screaming
In their labor beds
While visions of epidurals
Danced in their heads

The staffing is short
With no one on call
Every warmer is dirty
And sits in the hall

Just when I thought
There’s an end to this hell
A patient in triage
Has a major decel

So we rush with a gurney
And race to the back
The O.R. is dirty
Not one section pack

I dropped to my knees
And started to cry
When I heard the bells jingle
And looked toward the sky

There was St. Nick
On his sleigh in the rear
He had six smiling nurses
The night shift is here!