I pull up across the street a few metres away from the gate and wait. The poorly dog lies quietly in the back of the car, too sick to wonder why we aren’t home yet. Ben emits little exclamations, attempting to express his surprise at the unscheduled stop.
A few minutes pass and then they start to come out in dribs and drabs, excitable and noisy. More minutes pass and then I see him come out, holding his new gloves. He runs over to a boy I recognise from his class, proudly showing him his gloves. The boy snatches one, throws it to the ground and runs off. Harry walks over, shoulders hunched, and retrieves it and then wanders aimlessly in search of a friend. I watch him for several minutes and as each minute passes I want to scoop him up and take him home. He plays with no-one. He sits on the friendship bench but no-one comes to play with him. Eventually I get out of the car with Ben and cross over to the playground. As he spots me he runs over waving but by the time he gets to me he is crying. I tell him Defa is better enough to come home from the vet, hoping that will cheer him up but it barely registers through his tears. After a while I leave but only after the teacher takes him away, barely concealing her annoyance at my presence (understandably as he is very upset, but not understandable if she knew that this was make-or-break time for us regarding this school). Out of sight, I watch him for the next fifteen minutes. He follows the teacher round. I see her pointing, him shaking his head. He continues to follow her for the remainder of break time but at ten paces. The bell goes.
********
At home that evening I ask him – again – what playtime is usually like. He has already told me how much he hates it, how everyone is already friends and often no-one plays with him, how those that do play with him often engage him in fights or soak his shirt from the drinking tap, how he usually sits on the friendship bench waiting for someone to come, until the bell goes. Witnessing playtime today confirms what he has already told me.
‘Why didn’t you tell me all this when you started?’ I say at the end of our conversation.
‘Because you told me it was a nice school,’ he says, his voice quiet.
********
A week on and he is his old self: cheeky, loving, hardworking, confident, making new friends, renewing old friends.
Because I was not going to leave him at school one more minute.
I am so glad to hear that you came to a decision about homeschooling or not. I’ve watched you struggle with this issue and admired your fortitude, all the while hoping a clear path would open before you. And now it has. Best of luck in guiding your boys.
I am so glad you came to a decision. I am sure at will all be much better for him now.
Wishing you all much wisdom, grace and joy as you start this new adventure. Whoever said parenting was a roller-coaster ride for the emotions certainly wasn’t joking.
This was heartbreaking until the last bit. SO glad you made the decision you did. Good luck and hoping all goes smoothly for you now.
Mom Is Teaching » Blog Archive » Carnival of Homeschooling - Centennial Edition // Nov 27, 2007 at 10:59 am
[...] presents The playground posted at most | [...]
I know how hard the last few weeks have been for you and Harry. I’m glad you have decided to homeschool because reading your posts over the last few weeks it seemed clear that you both missed it. You have both given school a try and found it wanting. He might have settled eventually, probably would have. But at what cost. And you clearly love homeschooling so I can’t thing of a better reason for him to be taught at home! The very best of luck to you both.
Great choice! You won’t regret it.
What a well-written and heart breaking story. I couldn’t help but imagine my own son in his shoes, sitting there alone on the bench. It’s ironic how being at school with all these other children is often one of the most isolating experiences a child ever has to endure.
So glad you’ve got your happy little boy back!
You do have a gift for a story. I’m just sorry it’s such a sad story in this case.
Being the new boy at school was always going to be hard but it sounds like he had a particularly difficult time.
Wishing you all the best with educating him at home.
I’m sorry it had to happen this way but it does sound as though all of you are happy with your decision. I wish it could have been better for him at school – but then that might not have been the right thing for him at this stage of life…
Oh you really got to me there, how horrible for your poor child. It sounds like your doing the best thing with homeschooling
Thanks, all, for your words of support.