My guess would be a combination of school and age. Barring the kicking and punching Belle seems to have hit the same phase. Answering back especially. It’s a nightmare. I say “Don’t answer back” and she says “I can if I want to” or “I will answer back, so there” and I’m so gobsmacked I almost don’t know what to say. So far it’s been going on for only 3 days and I’m sending her to sit in her room on her pew (don’t ask why we bought an antique pew that only fits in one place in our house - Belle’s room) and then just reiterating the rules. if it doesn’t work I’m going to be stuck though…..

I think age is a big factor here. My Jenny is completely settled in reception but still will complain about going to school. She’s actually fine going in, but I have dreaded collecting her some afternoons. She will kick off with a list of injustices - who sits in the front in the car, why Rosie has a poppy and she doesn’t, why the snack I bought for her after school is inferior, why I haven’t bought her scooter when it wasn’t even discussed that I would etc. She does tend to do it with me more than anyone else. By the time we get home I have completely lost my cool and threatening her with sitting her on the stairs, or putting her in her room, just makes her howl, screech and kick more.

I think kids do copy behaviours from their peers in schools, it’s unavoidable. There also might be an element of trying out different strategies to see how they feel. All I know is that it can be exhausting.

I wish I could be of help, but I don’t know what the answer is. I think it could partly be due to his age, as my 5 year-old gives me a little attitude now and then, but with him it’s more like complaining over something he doesn’t like or else, which is I think is normal at any age. The kicking and screaming part doesn’t sound so much age related to me, though. I read in a book somewhere that a child who feels well, acts well and vise versa. I know it’s true with my kids that something is out of place when they act out, and it’s a matter of finding out what’s going on. Is it possible he’s a bit over tired from the full day of school? I know that my friends and relatives who started their kids in school this year said they seemed exhausted during the first month and saw rise in sleep problems, night terrors and outbursts of crying. Even though we homeschool, I notice my own son is really tired by the end of the day, and sometimes falls asleep during story time before bed, which he never used to do before we started school.

Anyway, it may only be a matter of acclimation and that once he settles in some more you will see some improvement in his behavior.

Ella, I’ve nothing really to add, I just wanted to let you know there’s moral support coming from my corner! Hope things feel better for you soon.

Hi

Just come across your blog today.

Thought you might find our experience interesting. We started homeschooling when we decided that we were leaving Glasgow, Scotland to return home to Australia- my daughter was just 5 and had been attending the Glasgow Steiner school.

We travelled abit more returned home, and found getting a homeschool network abit tricky, at that stage, due to various circumstances. So we decided to send her back to school to start gr 2- 2 weeks into her new school she was absolutely miserable - I’ve never seen her in such a state, despondent would describe it best. So we changed school- the teacher wasn’t happy we weren’t giving her or the school a chance.

My DD wanted to come back to homeschool but I said no at that stage as my son was just starting to come out of his shell without her around so much. So school no 2 was found- this lasted a term and a half- she was moderately happy, school work was ok but her behaviour was a nightmare. Because we’d been out of school for the previous year we could see it change, people whose children are always at school don’t realise the impact it has.

The weekend she finished at her school and we went back to homeschooling her and her brother played perfectly. I commented on it, and her response was I’m much happier not having to worry about school. It’s hard for an adult to switch persona’s from home to work when they’re unhappy and need to behave a certain way- but children just can’t do it. They end up being what they are at school.

So we are now expecting our next baby and taking it easy with school, and have no plans to go back to one unless it’s a full Steiner school- as we found there were many less behavioural issues then.