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When school means tiredness, having problems concentrating and socialization problems
By ella | October 18, 2007
My son has two teachers for his class. One is lovely: approachable, friendly and smiley. The other is a bit more gruff: no-nonsense and a bit matronly in her approach. Although they are different, I hoped that, together, they would be a good fit for Harry and the way he learns.
The first teacher took the opportunity at a recent class meeting to fill me in on Harry’s progress. ‘He’s doing really well, has settled in nicely, made friends and is ahead in his reading, although he struggles to maintain interest when he is writing,’ she told me. This was pretty much how I had imagined him to be getting on, knowing his academic strengths and weaknesses and hearing his version of how things were going at school.
When school broke up for the half term break I asked his other teacher how he had been getting on in her classes and whether there was anything she felt he was behind in that we could work on over the half-term break.
‘Well he seems so tired,’ she sighed. ‘In the afternoons he often struggles to concentrate and he seems to think he can opt-out of activities if he wants.’ She paused. ‘He obviously isn’t used to working so hard,’ she said. Her meaning was unmistakable: he’s been homeschooled and he’s had it easy. I wanted to correct her but she went on, ‘And he’s struggling with the socialisation issues, but you’d expect that wouldn’t you?’
I waited, but in the absence of any further explanation I could only assume she was referring to him being homeschooled.
‘He was at preschool until last term,’ I offered into the waiting pause.
‘Yes, but it’s getting used to such a big class,’ she countered. I didn’t tell her that the class size had been the same.
‘He seems to have made friends. Are there other socialisation issues? Perhaps I could talk to him about them,’ I suggested, envisaging him not being able to play appropriately with the other children or something.
She searched for something to say. ‘It’s a subtle thing,’ she said dismissively.
I’m trying really hard to be positive about this. Harry is happy there. He has made friends. He seems to tolerate the class work as much as any energetic five year old can be expected to. He is not behind in academic ability and therefore causing her extra work or bringing her class results down. I haven’t got her offside personally in any way as this was the first time I had spoken to her apart from brief hellos in a busy classroom.
So I will talk to him about how he must do what his teacher asks him to. And if he’s tired, well he already goes to bed at 6.45pm and has a twelve hour night (barring nightmares he has been having again since he started back at school). Hell, I feel tired and have difficulty concentrating in the afternoons but at least I can have a cup of coffee.
But I don’t have anything else to go on. Whatever socialisation issues he has, I guess all I am expected to do is wait and see how he gets on after half term.
It’s frustrating.
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Read More:
- More reasons I regret giving up homeschooling
- How to stop bullying
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- Day two
Categories: Homeschooling and School
The problem is the “other” teacher’s lack of communication skills. If she can’t express it to another adult, or at least give you some helpful suggestions, then she needs to work on her own socialisation. Perhaps her “it’s subtle” is buying her time until she can think of some suggestions that would help!
I think it’s quite normal for 5-year olds to get tired in the afternoon at school. I’m currently doing learning support working in a year-one class and some days a lot of them are half-asleep on the carpet in the morning! I know the teachers are often exhausted themselves by the half-term holiday.
Also, change can be tiring, however good the change is. I think they often get a second wind in the second part of the term.
Another thought - perhaps matronly teachers’ classes are boring and that’s why he struggles to stay lively :0)
I agree, I think it is quite normal for a 5-year old to get tired in the afternoon at school. When I started school (dark ages) we all had a nap in the afternoon. Can’t see that becoming part of the National Curriculum! I really cannot imagine it has anything to do with being homeschooled, whatever the teacher may think (how many homechooled children has she had experience of?). And what exactly does “it’s subtle” mean? Too subtle for his own mother to understand??? I’m sorry that you are having to deal with this. May the next half of term bring better things
Excuse my language, but fuck that bitch. How dare she spout such uninformed, prejudicial bullshit about your child. Children are not robots, they are tiny human beings. Most full grown adults I know start to fade around 2 pm, are children meant to have special magical reserves of energy that we don’t know about that means they can go on for longer? My first reason for deciding to homeschool? School days are too long for small children and I didn’t want to burn them out. Seriously. I don’t get why more people don’t understand this. Anyway, enough of my ranting….
I know that certainly Belle has been fading quicker in the afternoons as 1/2 term approaches. Is Harry in year 1? I guess they’re not as flexible in year 1 but basically in reception they seem to be allowed free play in the afternoons which means for Belle that she just sits alone and draws…
She’s also had more nightmares again since starting school, mainly due to stories she’s heard etc. We’ve mentioned to the teacher that it’s an issue and she’s made sure that Belle sits with a teacher if she’s concerned that the story might have content that’s scary or when they went to the theatre etc..
Maybe just check with the nicer teacher in future rather than worrying about the other teacher’s opinions? It’s always possible that the other teacher is a bit prejudiced and making assumptions about harry based on what she knows of his history rather than how he now appears - and the other teacher isn’t - so my feeling would be just to conentrate ont he teacher that is telling you clearly how she feels. that way you’ll be more likely to trust her if she does tell you there are issues.
But on the socialisation… i know I always go back to my mum’s opinions on this but I do think it’s true that we expect more socialisation from our children than they are necessarily always able to show at this age. If Harry has friends then that’s as much as you could hope for the average 5 year old. if he is not able to concentrate and take turns in a game involving the whole class (just as an example) then the teacher might see that as a failure in socialisation but it’s just as likely to be him being a 5 year old boy….
Honestly it sounds as though he’s doing really well. Hope you’re not worrying too much.