Meriel looks annoyed with me. She’s been annoyed with me for a while.
‘I’ve cleaned the loos so there’s no need to do them again and please don’t worry about cleaning the sideboard in the kitchen this week because I haven’t had a chance to clear it,’ I say as I rush to get ready to take William to preschool.
‘Is there a reason why you don’t want me to do the loos each week?’ she asks, almost proprietorially.
‘With four boys in the house and a toddler who has learnt that playing in the loo is really good fun, I clean them every day anyway so there’s no need for them to be done again,’ I explain, thinking about how I find Ben fishing about in the water from time to time despite my repeated appeals for the older boys to keep the bathroom doors shut.
She still looks annoyed though.
I’ve been so sick that the levels of clutter in the house have reached new levels. But when I come back from our morning out it looks like a burglar has broken in. Clothes have been swept to the floor, books that were piled up have been moved and scattered across tables, even the bottles in the shower looked like they have been thrown about by my toddler in a tantrum.
So Meriel cleans, but leaves me almost more work to do when I get back than if she didn’t come at all. She leaves early every week, thinking I don’t know (my neighbors tell me because they love to be involved in everyone else’s business). I turn a blind eye to this because cleaners are hard to come by here. And most importantly if she didn’t come, I don’t know where I would find the time to do even the most basic of cleaning around the house.
At the beginning of the year I was talking to a mother at William’s preschool. ‘I hear Ben isn’t doing so well,’ she says. I look a bit confused because I hardly know her. ‘Meriel comes to you, doesn’t she?’ she says by way of explanation. ‘She was telling me about Ben.’ I feel my heart sink. Does Meriel repeat everything she hears in our house to other people she cleans for, people I know?
Since then I have been careful what I say to her. I didn’t discuss Harry’s schooling plans because every week she would turn up and say to him (until I had to ask her to stop) ‘have you found another school to go to then?’ to a confused boy who was frightened about school and thought, rightly, that he was being homeschooled for the forseeable future. I didn’t tell her right away about the pregnancy, not wanting it broadcast around the surrounding villages until I reached the end of the first trimester. That would be reason for her to be annoyed. I suppose. If it were ANY of her business.
So instead I get back to a house that looks like it a tornado has swept through it.
This was the woman who arrived a couple of weeks after my beloved dog died, when I could still scarcely keep from crying when I talked about her and said to me, ‘but have you noticed how much less hair there is to clean now?’
Because, yes, when your dog dies there are so many hidden benefits.
Hi,
just came across your blog and liked it.Good work!
I am sorry but she should go.
Omg! she should definitely go. What a b*tch to say that about your dog.
If you had said even one positive thing about her, I’d consider letting her stay. As it is, you may be better off with NO cleaning lady.
Ugh! She sounds poisonous. She doesn’t do the job the way you want, she slopes off early, she quizzes your children and talks about your private affairs behind your back. She has the sensitivity of a brick and her ‘help’ has left you thoroughly miserable. Cleaning your house does not put her in a position of moral superiority over you. She has to go!
In agreement with everyone else. Who needs that kind of help? I’d rather a messy house than having to deal with that crap all the time.
Have been mulling over this and whilst I agree that she sounds awful I just CAN’T agree that no cleaning lady is better than horrible cleaning lady. If it was me I’d just let her carry on and just get on with it without conversing with her any more than a normal employer/employee relationship. My mum spends her life telling me that my cleaner doesn’t know how to clean. My resonse is that she may not be brilliant but she’s a hell of a lot better than nothing – which is what would happen if she didn’t come. if I had 3 children, all of whom were at home, one of whom I was trying to homeschool, really really definitely nothing would get done.
You don’t seem to like her much and she doesn’t sound like she’s doing her job very well, and I don’t think it does anyone justice to have them continue in work that they aren’t doing right. And she’s a gossip as well. It’s sounds like she’s causing you more anxiety than doing you good. If you think it’s worth talking to her first about the issues you have, you might try that. Otherwise I wouldn’t hesitate to let her go.
Ugh! I totally understand your frustration. We decided to get someone because we needed the help but the headache of finding someone at all (we ended up using a service) and then getting them to do a good job, show up at the time they’re supposed to show up at, having the people who are supposed to show up show up and not someone else sometimes makes me think it’s all not worth the hassle. But we’re still trying to work it all out because, well, like geepeemum said, it’s better than no cleaning lady.
Good luck figuring it out!
Thanks for your comments. I have talked to her about the issues I raised here (but not the dog thing) and things improved for a week and then the tornado was back this week. I don’t talk to her about personal stuff now – I’m usually rushing to leave anyway – so maybe that’s the source of her annoyance. But yes, the only reason she is still here is because she is better than no cleaner.
At least she was. Now I have to disinfect the table when I get back because she puts the dog bowl up on it when she washes the floor (even though I’ve asked her not to) and other ridiculous things. My grandmother always to clean before the cleaner came. I clean AFTER the cleaner’s been.
That is ridiculous! I love having a cleaner come when we can — but we don’t chat. The gossip aspect would drive me nuts.
It’s definitely not right that she doesn’t leave at LEAST as picked up as they were when she got there. Just. Not. Right.
More about the behavioral issues | most | least: motherhood in real-time // Nov 12, 2007 at 8:57 pm
[...] cleaned while I was out (I leave so early now for school I haven’t had to do anything about firing the cleaner even though I am still planning to find someone to replace [...]
Starting homeschooling: the first weeks | most | least: motherhood in real-time // Dec 7, 2007 at 5:49 pm
[...] also finally fired the cleaner. I was firmly in agreement with geepeemum’s comment about not finding time to clean but in [...]