Comments on: Maternal depression, irritability and guilt http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/ Pregnancy, babies and small children: the truth about motherhood. Sun, 23 Nov 2008 10:02:56 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 By: Kim http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-500 Kim Mon, 02 Jul 2007 03:54:35 +0000 http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-500 You could wipe your name off that blog and stick mine to it, thats how close it is to exactly how I feel. I don't think drugs are the answer necessarily, at least not the first answer. I just got rid of my 2 cats because I realized I was taking out my stresses on them; always yelling at them and not giving them any positive attention. It helps to not have them around and I know they're in a better home, but of course I feel guilty about giving them the boot. I am my own worst enemy- I do something productive or positive and find twenty flaws in my actions to bring me back to feeling bad. I often feel like I'll never get everything done and that I'm clueless as to what I'm doing, but taking the time to just Breathe! or vent to my sister (mother of 4) pulls me back just long enough to see that everything will be okay. And then my 2 year old puts a kernel of corn in her ear...motherhood seems to be a funny cycle like that, and something you will fondly look back on with a grin when your grown kids are calling you on the phone screaming for help with your grandchildren. So until then, you get on the phone and scream for help, cause if it's a mom you're calling, they will grin and happily assist cause they do understand. You could wipe your name off that blog and stick mine to it, thats how close it is to exactly how I feel. I don’t think drugs are the answer necessarily, at least not the first answer. I just got rid of my 2 cats because I realized I was taking out my stresses on them; always yelling at them and not giving them any positive attention. It helps to not have them around and I know they’re in a better home, but of course I feel guilty about giving them the boot. I am my own worst enemy- I do something productive or positive and find twenty flaws in my actions to bring me back to feeling bad. I often feel like I’ll never get everything done and that I’m clueless as to what I’m doing, but taking the time to just Breathe! or vent to my sister (mother of 4) pulls me back just long enough to see that everything will be okay. And then my 2 year old puts a kernel of corn in her ear…motherhood seems to be a funny cycle like that, and something you will fondly look back on with a grin when your grown kids are calling you on the phone screaming for help with your grandchildren.
So until then, you get on the phone and scream for help, cause if it’s a mom you’re calling, they will grin and happily assist cause they do understand.

]]> By: Lucy http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-499 Lucy Fri, 18 Aug 2006 20:24:56 +0000 http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-499 I'm hoping you're feeling better by the time you read this. I don't really have much to add to all the comments, except to say that I'll help in any way I can. I'll be in touch pronto! I’m hoping you’re feeling better by the time you read this. I don’t really have much to add to all the comments, except to say that I’ll help in any way I can. I’ll be in touch pronto!

]]> By: Petite Mommy http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-498 Petite Mommy Fri, 18 Aug 2006 19:29:30 +0000 http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-498 I know how you feel with life feeling unbalanced, not getting enough sleep, shouting at your kids (yep, Ive done it too) and just overall feeling like nothing gets done. I'm trying out a new schedule where I get some extra me time. Maybe you can do something like that too and in all seriousness you need to make sure you are taking care of yourself and you may need to talk to someone. Hugs to you and I do hope you feel better soon. I know how you feel with life feeling unbalanced, not getting enough sleep, shouting at your kids (yep, Ive done it too) and just overall feeling like nothing gets done. I’m trying out a new schedule where I get some extra me time. Maybe you can do something like that too and in all seriousness you need to make sure you are taking care of yourself and you may need to talk to someone. Hugs to you and I do hope you feel better soon.

]]> By: Kristen http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-497 Kristen Fri, 18 Aug 2006 18:38:26 +0000 http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-497 I know what you mean by that "overwhelmed" and "underwhelmed" feeling...it's bizarre. It often feels like the most trivial things my kids are doing are going to drive me over the edge. It's hard when the kids are so little and so busy... they wear me out and fill me up, all at the same time. Some days I seem to have all the patience in the world and others I'm just a mess. Any time I can take to get out of the house by myself helps a lot. Even if it's at night when the kids are asleep. And actually, even though it's a lot of work to bring them out, if I get out of the house with the kids and do something- go for a walk, the playground, a friend's house- that also seems to help tremendously with my mood. Attachment parenting is hard, it demands a lot from the mom and we don't get a whole lot of support when we're with them at home. If you do get to feeling too down, though, you should not feel the least bit bad about seeing someone who you can talk to. The time out and the talking alone will make you feel a thousand times better! And you owe that to yourself... I know what you mean by that “overwhelmed” and “underwhelmed” feeling…it’s bizarre. It often feels like the most trivial things my kids are doing are going to drive me over the edge. It’s hard when the kids are so little and so busy… they wear me out and fill me up, all at the same time. Some days I seem to have all the patience in the world and others I’m just a mess. Any time I can take to get out of the house by myself helps a lot. Even if it’s at night when the kids are asleep. And actually, even though it’s a lot of work to bring them out, if I get out of the house with the kids and do something- go for a walk, the playground, a friend’s house- that also seems to help tremendously with my mood. Attachment parenting is hard, it demands a lot from the mom and we don’t get a whole lot of support when we’re with them at home. If you do get to feeling too down, though, you should not feel the least bit bad about seeing someone who you can talk to. The time out and the talking alone will make you feel a thousand times better! And you owe that to yourself…

]]> By: carol http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-496 carol Fri, 18 Aug 2006 12:54:32 +0000 http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-496 Your honesty is breathtaking. You need help - as we all do - and if you can afford it, take it. Start with more help during the day (so you can nap) before you start the meds debate. More advice - tell your husband ALL your feelings. Having a baby is a two person decision. If he doesn't think this is the time, then maybe it isn't. I doubt he would discourage the entire idea if you have both decided to have a large family. Take care of you, then move on to taking care of others. You only get to parent one time. Don't look back on it with regrets. Having a happy, well-rested mom is THE most important thing. Think of the higher amount of quality interactions you'll have with your boys if you have more energy and patience! Talk to a therapist - talk to your husband - talk to a friend. You need to express this stuff in person. We are all rooting for you and we all, well I know I have - have had these EXACT same feelings at one time. Your honesty is breathtaking.

You need help - as we all do - and if you can afford it, take it. Start with more help during the day (so you can nap) before you start the meds debate.

More advice - tell your husband ALL your feelings. Having a baby is a two person decision. If he doesn’t think this is the time, then maybe it isn’t. I doubt he would discourage the entire idea if you have both decided to have a large family.

Take care of you, then move on to taking care of others. You only get to parent one time. Don’t look back on it with regrets. Having a happy, well-rested mom is THE most important thing. Think of the higher amount of quality interactions you’ll have with your boys if you have more energy and patience!

Talk to a therapist - talk to your husband - talk to a friend. You need to express this stuff in person.

We are all rooting for you and we all, well I know I have - have had these EXACT same feelings at one time.

]]> By: Kate http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-495 Kate Fri, 18 Aug 2006 08:17:56 +0000 http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-495 Ella, please please please let me know if there is anything I can do at any time. I don't think it was criticism for you doing the blog, I just sit in front of the box when I've got that precious hour or so after the girls have gone to bed, so at least you're doing something productive! I too shout at the smallest problem and 8 times out of 10 I'm getting a good nights sleep. Its having 3 all the time thats doing it for me. I'm sure at some point we'll love the school holidays but when they are this age you need a break. Bring them round! Ella, please please please let me know if there is anything I can do at any time. I don’t think it was criticism for you doing the blog, I just sit in front of the box when I’ve got that precious hour or so after the girls have gone to bed, so at least you’re doing something productive! I too shout at the smallest problem and 8 times out of 10 I’m getting a good nights sleep. Its having 3 all the time thats doing it for me. I’m sure at some point we’ll love the school holidays but when they are this age you need a break. Bring them round!

]]> By: karrie http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-494 karrie Thu, 17 Aug 2006 22:28:20 +0000 http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-494 I agree with a previous poster about sleep-deprivation. Its sheer hell by itself and it certainly can up the ante with depression or other mood disorders since they're exhausting by nature. Take care of yourself. No shame in being honest. I agree with a previous poster about sleep-deprivation. Its sheer hell by itself and it certainly can up the ante with depression or other mood disorders since they’re exhausting by nature.

Take care of yourself. No shame in being honest.

]]> By: pink http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-493 pink Thu, 17 Aug 2006 22:17:41 +0000 http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-493 Everyone has already said the same as I would--and often better--so I will just send you a hug and say that you will make the best decisions for yourself and your family and to hell with anyone who judges you. Take care of yourself! Everyone has already said the same as I would–and often better–so I will just send you a hug and say that you will make the best decisions for yourself and your family and to hell with anyone who judges you. Take care of yourself!

]]> By: Ann D http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-492 Ann D Wed, 16 Aug 2006 17:13:11 +0000 http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-492 You are incredibly honest in stating your fears about what you worry about -- the fear of the fallout for telling it like it is. I admire your honesty. Hugs, Ann You are incredibly honest in stating your fears about what you worry about — the fear of the fallout for telling it like it is. I admire your honesty.

Hugs,
Ann

]]> By: Mert http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-491 Mert Wed, 16 Aug 2006 05:46:16 +0000 http://mostleast.com/2006/08/13/maternal-depression-irritability-and-guilt/#comment-491 I wish that men could understand what hormones do to a womans body! A lot of women are in denial about PPD, and not many talk about it so it's more common than the world thinks. I agree, you need some rest! Although it can be nearly impossible with 4 children I am guessing. I know that breast feeding is important, but there are formulas out there that contain just about everything breast milk does, and though it may take some adjusting (taste, bottles to wash, ect), it's not the end of the world if you switch to formula. No one is going to think less of you, you have to do what is best for you and your family. I wish that men could understand what hormones do to a womans body! A lot of women are in denial about PPD, and not many talk about it so it’s more common than the world thinks.

I agree, you need some rest! Although it can be nearly impossible with 4 children I am guessing.

I know that breast feeding is important, but there are formulas out there that contain just about everything breast milk does, and though it may take some adjusting (taste, bottles to wash, ect), it’s not the end of the world if you switch to formula. No one is going to think less of you, you have to do what is best for you and your family.

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