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Sleep Training
By ella | July 4, 2006
These are the two words which strike the most fear into my heart. Those and Controlled Crying. And possibly Spread ‘Em.
Youngest Son, now a bouncing six-month-old, is refusing to go to sleep without being rocked in my arms. So three times a day you can find me pacing the hallways while he decides whether or not he is going to drop off. Sometimes he looks at me and giggles, because it’s such a Big Game. Yes Ben, that’s just how I see it too, a Great Big Game. With two preschoolers to look after, meals to get on the table and laundry to get done (oh God, so MUCH laundry) I don’t have the inclination, not to mention the time, to pace the hallways.
Sometimes we go out in the car and he falls asleep (I never thought I’d love the school run so much). Sometimes we go out in the stroller (him, not me) and he falls asleep (I never thought I’d love walking so much and Lord knows I need to do some before my not-so-recently-pregnant belly sags below my knees - no-one has asked me when my next baby is due, but it’s only a matter of time). But unless I drive for just the right amount of time - heaven forbid it should be too short or too long - or unless I walk at just the right speed - not so slow as to give him too much to look at, nor so fast as to keep him awake by bouncing him out of the stroller - I end up at home where I am pacing the hallways sometimes singing, sometimes pretending I am talking on the phone, sometimes actually talking on the phone, sometimes making random lists into my dictaphone because I’m that anally-retentive, or sometimes singing a random list into my dictaphone and telephone at the same time (I’m a mother, I can seriously multitask).
Plus, he’s a fat little bugger and my arms don’t need the work out anymore. Bingo wings? You gotta be joking, there’s not an ounce of fat on my upper arms. It all went to my stomach.
But at six months old he’s too young to do controlled crying with. I know I need to rock him until he’s sleepy and then place him in the cot so he actually falls asleep in the cot. I KNOW THAT. But then he doesn’t sleep. At all. And so I spend even more time pacing the halls, singing, dictaphoning, and also this time swearing, until he is sleepy and then I put him in his cot again whereupon he wakes. And then doesn’t sleep.
I thought about leaving the dictaphone in his cot on playback with me singing, dictaphoning, telephoning and swearing but he isn’t fooled. I thought about hypnotising him by leaving messages on the dictaphone: “You feel sleepy. Your mother smells of baby vomit, get away from her.” I left a milky smelling cloth in his cot to remind him of me but it just went rancid and made the room stink.
This is my third baby. Someone should have told him he’s meant to be the easy baby. Perhaps I’ll put that on the dictaphone.
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Categories: Sleep
It’s certainly arguable whether six months is too young for controlled crying. Some of the books I’ve read say that 6 months is a good age to start. But we chickened out until 9 months, and then she started going to sleep on her own before we even got around to doing anything. Good luck with sleepless baby - I know I’ve been there!
Funny, isn’t it, that we somehow expect that, because we have more experience, our third should be the easiest?
I was the same, and my third was most definitely not the easiest!
I wish I had some exquisite pearl of wisdom to share with you to help you through this stage. (And remember - it is just a stage.)
The best I can do is tell you that yes, this too shall pass, and you will survive.
And someday - on the other side of it all - you will be commenting on a younger mom’s blog with words of encouragement to help get her through the very same stage…..
LOL at Spread ‘Em!
Hope you find a way to get him to sleep soon.
Oooo. I hated that struggle with my Tommy. Worries about sleep are making my pregnancy insomnia even worse right now. I hope, hope, hope this second baby will be one of those miracle easy sleepers of myth and legend. Otherwise, I’ll be right with you pacing the floor and taking long stroller walks and planning car naps. I hope Ben figures things out soon!
I;m lucky that I put my baby in the crib at bedtime, stick a pacifier in his mouth and he goes to sleep. But now he’s dependent on the pacifier! He’s still 5 months so I’ll still give him the pacifier. IN the day he can fall asleep alone or sucking his fingers. I tried the controlled sleeping thing last week and he cried for 45 min. I couldn’t take it anymore.:)
Thanks for your comment on my blog! It is good to know I am not alone!! It is also good to read a blog written by someone else from England for a change!!
I saw on SiteMeter that you stopped by my blog, so I thought I would stop by yours. I also have three children, and the baby is completely unlike her brothers in that you can lay her down awake and she will whine for a minute or two and then fall asleep. No rocking, no pacing the floors, just leave her alone and she’ll go to sleep. And yes, I know how lucky I am!
Third baby, the easy one? Surely you jest? Not in my world…
I feel your pain!
Help, my 16 month old will not sleep with holding either my earlobe or my face! I don’t have the courage to try controlled crying. My 11 year old hardly gets time alone with me and I never get time alone!
I have two babies - one 4, the other 3 months. I am in the process of “zero tolerance” with the whole sleep thing with the new baby. I did it with the first, and it worked. I sure hope it works this time. This is it:
Put them down to sleep. Do not go in when they cry. leave them. eventually they will stop and go to sleep. (when I say eventually, this is serious - my 1st would cry 3 hours or more.) It decreases rapidly and they sleep when you put them down.
I must disclaim this by saying, I did this after the soft approaches - timed entrances where you cuddle, speak to them, or pat them - failed miserably.
My local health nurse assured me no baby ever died from crying. I can attest this to be true in my experience. And postscript: I cannot bear crying. During the day my baby pretty much doesn’t cry because I am an abject slave to his every whim.
good luck.