« Nose bags and penises | Home | Exits and apologies »
Boys, boys, boys
By ella | June 30, 2006
On Sunday my husband and the boys made popcorn and lined up in a row on the sofa to watch the England v Ecuador world cup match. I even made Matthew hold the baby, reminding him that he shouldn’t absent-mindedly feed the newly-weaning baby popcorn - the beer would be okay, but the popcorn might make him choke - and I went off to the other end of the house to vacuum. As I went I looked back at my boys, any thoughts of me already far from their minds, and I felt real pride at the boys they are becoming. Even Matthew has learned to wash his hands EVERY TIME he uses the loo.
But then as I was cleaning, I felt the strongest longing for a daughter, for an ally in this sea of men, for someone to do girlie things with, to take shopping, to gossip, to share those times when she has children of her own. The dynamics of a family of several boys is unknown to me, both as a woman and knowing only what it is like to be a girl, and also growing up in a household with siblings of both sexes. The dynamics of a family with several boys is also presumably different to that of a family with only a son. For a start there is So Much Testosterone, even at this tender age; often the four year old has killed 38 people even before breakfast, while the three year old watches, taking it all in, only to declare war on his Thomas the Tank Engines. I’m sure it is only a matter of time before the baby joins in with his AK48. Don’t get me wrong: they are still in touch with their feminine side. Just. I have only to witness them playing with friends’ dolls, feeding them milk from their bellybuttons and cradling them, before the unsuspecting dollies are gruesomely beheaded and thrown across the garden. Or, look, the doll that GOT DEADED IN THE NUCLEAR SHOOTING, MUMMY.
Friends see us arriving and have learned to hide their favourite plastic friends.
As the boys get older there will be more fighting, pointless wedgies and painful Chinese burns along with all the other physical joshing and jostling that boys need and thrive on. There will be lanky teenagers and finding dirty magazines under the mattress. There will be girlfriends and eventually daughters-in-law. It will be wonderful. But still, when I picture my grown up family, there is also a girl in there somewhere. Of course she may grow up to be a tomboy and even refuse to have children after growing up in the noisy melee that is our household. But there is definitely a girl in there somewhere.
Though of course Matthew may have something to say about continuing to sprog until I get one.
Subscribe Via Email OR
Subscribe Via RSS
OR
Read More:
- Family life
- Out here
- Happy Birthday, little fella
- I gave birth to tomcats, not children
- Hot summer days
Categories: Not Enough Children
3 Comments
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
Is there a baby number four on the horizon!?
Boys are great, but I sure love having a daughter as well. Good luck to ya!
I, too, have three boys. They are a little older than yours, I think. Mine are 12, 9, and 5. Yes, the testosterone seems to grow and grow and grow!
I fear for a girl if we have one at this point. I fear that the testosterone is so predominant in our household that she would end up absorbing it. She would have to be pretty tough to cope with three rough-housing rabble-rousers.
Then again, would that be so bad? A tough, brave girl who is willing to fight for what she wants?
As you can see, I waver from one side to the other fairly freqently.
BTW - I come to you from Crazy Hip Blogger Moms.
I am the oldest of seven children. Directly younger than me are three boys. I was grateful for a sister, but she was more of a Tom boy than my three brothers together. We survived!
I am also the mother of three (soon-to-be four) boys. I have two daughters. They have learned to get along, and I love having daughters, too.
Best wishes on your decision to try for a girl or not! Only you and your husband can decide that!
P.S. I have cousins–Three boys followed by several girls. Those boys were very protective of their little sisters. They interviewed/scared prospective dates, etc.!