Harry, my four year old who is DEFINITELY ready for big school, to younger brother William: ‘I’m going to tell you a story Bubby. Once upon a time there were two little boys called William and Ben and one day they were playing in the field and they went on to the train track and a train came and squashed them.’

Me, reproachfully: ‘Oh Harry, that’s not very nice, why don’t you tell a story about your brothers playing on their bikes instead. That would be better.’

Harry: ‘Okay Mummy. Bubby, once upon a time there were two little boys called William and Ben and one day they were playing ON THEIR BIG BLUE BIKES and they went on to the train track and a train came and squashed them.’

Oh yes, definitely not a baby any more.