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Fifteen weeks pregnant
By ella | July 13, 2005
Last Thursday was a great day as I FINALLY STOPPED THROWING UP.
But then my joy was quickly over as I realised that the London transport system was being bombed. I have found it hard to write about anything, hence my lack of posts, because I just feel so disillusioned, as I did after 9/11, by the fact that some extremists can get on a train or plane and blow up innocent people. Also in the news this week is the tenth anniversary of the massacre of Muslim men and boys in Srebrenica in Bosnia by Bosnian Serb troops while the town was under the so-called protection of the UN. Men, boys, as young as 14 were taken away and shot. 8,000 of them.
I just don’t know how one person can do such things to another.
So I am feeling so much better physically but I am feeling a bit down about world events. Today I heard the baby’s heartbeat via the Doppler machine - I was relieved as I had literally gone from feeling dreadfully sick, eaten a supper of mash potato and cabbage and then felt immediately better and haven’t felt sick since and given that the nausea in my previous two pregnancies tailed off gradually I couldn’t help worrying that something had happened to the baby. But no, there it was, its little heartbeat pounding away. But emotionally I am edgy after the suicide bombs in London, lying awake last night in this excessive heat we are experiencing, wondering if I had everything to hand quickly enough if London is hit by a dirty bomb and we have to prepare for the nuclear fallout. I am prepared but if the wind is blowing this way we might have twenty minutes or so to prepare a room to live in for ten to fourteen days. Yes, I am a worrier. But if I am prepared I worry less so I live my life in a constant state of preparedness. It’s my way of dealing with things. Matthew is heading for the airport again as we speak and I can do nothing about that - his work necessitates travel to Europe. My brother works in London and uses the underground line that was bombed. It is generally agreed that the terrorists may well strike again. But I control what I can and I try not to worry about the things that I can’t.
So this week’s pregnancy update is less about the physical side of being pregnant, but more about the mental and emotional state that I am in.
Oh and I have thrush. Which is lovely in this heat.
[SEE THE SPROGGING CATEGORY FOR MORE PREGNANCY POSTS]
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Categories: Worrying About Society, In The News, Pregnancy
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