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I dream of sleep
By ella | March 24, 2005
I’m suffering another round of sleep deprivation due to the triple whammy of a recent bug, followed by second son’s teething and now eldest son’s nightmares.
I’ll say upfront that I really don’t function well without regular quality sleep. I can do two or three broken nights and then I start to fall apart, mostly from depression and a distinct lack of joie de vivre. I become (as we say so delightfully in the UK) a real moody cow. It’s really not pretty. In fact I would go as far as to say that I attribute most of my post-partum depression to sleep deprivation and the fact that I am struggling still to overcome the same depression to ongoing sleep deprivation.
When new mothers talk about how much more sleep they will get once their baby starts to sleep through the night I find it so hard to keep from saying no, no, NO, IT’S JUST NOT TRUE. Instead I nod sagely and smile encouragingly because there is actually nothing worse than the sleeplessness that comes with a new baby. But I always thought, in my stupidity and with my knowledge (for I had so much knowledge about babies before I had one) that once your new baby started to sleep through the night that was it; regular sleep resumed. I know better now.
However I think I have also been supremely unlucky in the timing of the sons’ sleep interruptions. When one got over a cold, another started teething, then the other developed nightmare tendencies, then the other got a cold and, well you get the picture. And during the phases of sleep deprivation (like now) it always seems worse than it is. Actually everything always seems worse than it is and I certainly feel like I will never get a good night’s sleep again. However one good night’s sleep and I feel my sanity restored.
I’m sure there are plenty of parents that get perfectly good sleep once their babies are no longer newborns. I just wish I was one of them.
When I am suffering a bout of sleep deprivation I like to keep certain facts in the back of my mind to remind myself that if I shout at my children because I am tired, it is with good reason. Lack of sleep affects the ability to think clearly, to make rational decisions, to remember things and to react appropriately emotionally and physically. Which is why new mothers should not be allowed to drive cars, nor look after small children, nor be expected to go out grocery shopping and come back with anything resembling food for the week. Lack of sleep also makes us more susceptible to illness just when we become responsible for looking after another human being 24/7.
And with that, I’m off to get some sleep. I’m not assuming it will be a whole night, but as usual I’ll happily take whatever I can get.
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Categories: Parenting
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